Anarking

While you were getting ready for bed…

The fog rose up in my neighborhood. It was quite eerie so my postgoth wife, pup and I took a brisk walk. I thought of my friends who live to far away to enjoy this and was hit with a moment of inspiration.

Here’s a larger version is you want it for your desk top wall paper or invitation to a house warming party.

Angry Building

The Great Pal Purge

I have 84 facebook “friends”. That is redonckulous! I could never fit 84 people into my apartment nor would I want to, so I have decided to purge myself of a whole buttload of them. Of course there are criteria that decide who goes and who stays, I’m not doing this purge willy nilly or based on whose eye color matches my hoodie.

So with the inevitable why did you defriend me or why did you not accept my friend request questions I present you with the Pal Purge criteria:

1. If you are reading this you will most likely not be deleted
2. If you commented here before you will not be deleted
3. If I have had numerous drinks with you and did not walk away questioning why I did not punch you in the face you will most likely not be deleted
4. If we made out you will most likely not be deleted
5. If I work or have worked with you but we don’t really hang out, there’s a linkdin for that and you are in the wrong place
6. If I lived with you and you did not punch me in the face you will most likely not be deleted
7. If I consider you part of my post-nuclear family (siblings of very close friends) you will most likely not be deleted.
8. If you have put up your kids picture as your picture, well you probably won’t be deleted but just know that you are not so original aktually and it irks me since I would not befriend you toddler under normal circumstances unless your toddler can swear or down whiskey without crying about it like a little bitch.

Now in the event you are a lurker and do read my blog all the time and do get all giddy when I post facebook updates but are to shy to speak up then now is your chance. But then again my dear lurky friend my blog will stay open to the public it’s just that I won’t have to pollute your facebook page with my inane banter or government hate speech. See it’s all push vs. pull here, facebook pushes info onto you while this here little blog allows you to pull from it. I always thought pull was a much more consumer friendly way to communication.

K done carry on.

Astronaut

I did this in illustrator, first time using illustrator along with a tablet in a long while. Wow do I suck at illustrator. Feel free to suggest other media types, with in reason, I will not draw a monkey using my feces.

Current images suggested:

1. Angry Building
2. Sad Nazi eating a bagel

Blog History Month Wrap Up

Well, it’s done. I am all written out but I feel fulfilled. This was a great challenge and I have to give it up to Kyle for triggering the word bomb that just went off. I can’t say this was easy or that I looked forward to posting every night.

I am also grateful for all the comments both online and off. When I was in college I use to run the university radio station but before I did that I worked there as a disc jockey. I was told I would play music, take phone calls on air and make witty banter between songs. After a few nights I asked the old station manager why did I not get any callers and was told that the station had their transmitter stolen and so did not broadcast. This sucked because that meant I was sitting in a padded room and just talking to myself and I was not even getting any mind altering drugs to show for it. Finally we got web streaming and such which would have been more fun but by that time I was the station manager and did not do shows. What I am saying here is that like any form of media I learned that blogs need and audience. So yeah your comments are totally appreciated.

On to new business! Kyle thinks my comic strip a week idea was lame and so he issued a new challenge. If you recall he was getting up on me for not drawing. He was right to do so, cause while I have been great a generating excuses for not drawing I have not been so stellar at generating drawings.

So the challenge is 3 sketches of some sort per week.

If you are observant you may have noticed some tabs on this site. If you are super observant you would have noticed a new tab, that tab will let you suggest what I should draw. Drawing is time consuming enough so you guys can provide the ideas. If you are reading this via reader you can use http://www.anarking.com/suggest

So what days will have new drawings up and what will I be doing on off days. Here is the schedule I set up:

• Sunday - Choose a drawing / draw the damn thing
• Monday - Finish drawing and post it
• Tuesday - Choose another drawing and get to drawing it
• Wednesday - Complete drawing and post it
• Thursday - Choose a drawing, chillax its pre-Friday
• Friday - Draw
• Saturday - Post drawing

New York in Megapixils

NY State of Mind

It was a good day. I realized exactly how much I missed this city but more than that the New York attitude and the New Yorkers it is attached too. All of them are trying to get by in their own right, I call it the hustle. Tourists are the prey, ready to part with their money for something that will reinforce a memory that is certain to fade with time as memories do. I understand that I was part of that hustle, illegally selling T shirts I made in a squat house. I say illegally because NY State City wants their cut so you need to buy a license to sell on the street. So you have 2 options pony up the cash or sell on the fly, look out for cops and be ready to run if a cop gets wise. It’s all part of the great New York game and you either love it or get the fuck out.

People that aren’t from here say that New Yorkers are rude but that’s just a dumbshit bumpkin comment made by dumbshit bumpkins who don’t have the foggiest notion of how to move in a city. My wife reminded me of this when she opted to by pass Times Square on our walk/photo hunt in the Theatre district. Tourist while they are part of New Yorks cash influx they also a a huge part of it’s decline. Times Square is disneyfied, the Lower East Side is turning into little New Jersey and while trying to barter with local Chinatown merchant I was shown a wall little post it notes that had no bartering written in various languages. So I told the guy that I wasn’t no tourist and he wasn’t the only Chinese T-Shirt dealer in the area then I took out my wallet and told him that he could watch me as open it an give the contents to his neighbors across the street. And so I did saving myself $10. While I walking down the Avenue of the Americas I realized I was a bit disturbed by that none bartering Chinaman because he represented the touristification of my beloved city. But my mind was put at ease as a rat scurried under a garbage can scaring the tourist tween and her mom behind me. I walked over and kicked the can to the horror of other tourists, I wanted to show these locust what real New York City was. The matted dirty fur that comes living in never ending taxi exhaust. Yellow teeth stained by the grease of the food that was stolen from a weaker vermin. Ears ripped as badges of the fight that he won to get that food. Sunken dark eyes glazed over by staying up to late and sleeping to damn little.

I wanted the rat to run out and attack them as I screamed, this is New York motherfuckers, now back to the podunk shitholes from whence you came, ground zero will not be touristized and it gift shop is closed indefinitely. As I kicked that can and as the tourists stared at me with what I hope was horror but very well could have been confusion the rat stayed under it. And just like that it occurred to me the rat wanted me to fuck off and was not going to do anything unless it felt like there was pussy or feed in it for him just like this city. I knew that New York would be just fine with out me and that if it changes it does so because it wants too not because tourist are around or some bastard is trying to get it riled up by kicking its can.

Now as I am winding down looking watching an uncharacteristically funny SNL, I feel oddly at ease knowing that the City will still be the City in the morning and that tonight my stars will be skyscraper windows.

Stomping Ground

Delaney street separates the hipsters from the Chinese immigrants. The Lower East Side was my small slice of New York. It had bars where the bartenders poured me shots without expecting currency of any sort. I volunteered in the local artist commune and set up a small private hustle as a T-shirt seller.

Go down it far enough and you hit the Bowery and pass the Bowery Ballroom. I miss working there running the light board listening to great/awful bands and to my boss complain about how now girl will suck his cock.

Ever consider it could be because you’re 45 and the ones you go after are still in high school.

Go fuck yourself was his usual reply.

If you go west further you hit Soho. Boutiques and art galleries litter the area and attract a hidieous variety of malnourished types. Although only a 10 minute walk from my front door I never hung out there. I was not my stomping ground and so I avoided it.

So here’s the point of this post. Recently I ventured back to my old hood, stomping ground if you will, and it was all destroyed. Although it was not rubble it was no longer the same ground. The bartenders, hell the bars no longer existed. The stores were gone and event the streets felt different. That was when I realized that you can never go back because life goes on whether you are around or not.

Biggest Apple You’ve Ever Seen

New York has been scientifically proven to be the grandest city in the world. The problem with it being so fucking grand is that I compare other cities to it and no other city can compare to New York. Sure many people will argue and state that their favorite city is better but I think deep down in their souls they know they are lying and going to burn in the pits of hell for doing so.

I have a friend that swore up and down about how fantastic Boston was, really, Boston. This place is known for baked beans and fanatical baseball fans. Two thing that in their own right produce nothing but hot air and stink up any bar. Fuck Boston, the only good thing that comes out of there is on express Amtrak to Manhattan.

Then you have those who talk about how underrated Chicago is. There’s a reason for that, Chicago is like Chinese knock off of New York. Sure it has similar features and functions but upon closer inspection one can see all the missing details and cheap plastic where die cast metals should be. Living in Chicago after being a New Yorker is like asking for Optimus Prime for Christmas and getting Leader-1 instead. Or for those of you that don’t speak unbathed geek; it’s like asking for a blow job and getting one but with all teeth scraping on your rod.

But what about California. What about it, it’s a goddamn state not a city. Sure the state is pretty awesome but you need an entire state to measure up to NYC. You have LA which is fantastic if you like drive-bys, trannys and traffic and of course San Fran, which is foggy half of the time and filled with hippies the other half. No sir Cali is no Manhattan.

So as a tribute to New York City here is a compilation of New York Bands singing about their beloved city.

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